10 Commandents of Marriage

Just when I thought things just couldn't possibly get any weirder,
and this turned up in my inbox today...
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10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say; talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbours listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be
sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble
starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why
wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished.

Bonus Commandment ( Story )
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The
husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then
smiled,

"It really works!"
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*Note to self: Turn on spam filter for my email from now on.